.Sunday, January 01, 2006 ' 4:03 PM Y
So many things have happened since I last blogged. Just when I thought things were taking a turn for the better, everything had to go haywire. I suddenly don't know how to express myself again. My mind has become a total blank again. Man... I'm losing it again... Why do I feel that I'm losing everyone and everything around me? Why has her appearance taken everything away from me? My heart is only half-beating now. Suddenly I really hate her a lot. She's really taking away everything and everyone from us. I feel unsure of myself now. I don't know what is going on, but I still want to say thank you to those who have been there for me right from the start. There have been people who broke away just when I needed them most, and there were those who never were there at all. And now I finally realise who have been here with me all this while. I finally understand that some things were never meant to be mine. No one really understands me right now. I cut myself again. A deep wound to match the one on my heart. I've been stabbed so many times now that I've become numb. By those whom I trusted so much, by whom I thought were the closest to me. I feel so betrayed, but no one really knows. I can't even begin to describe how I feel now. My release has yet to come. Oh god... I'm delirious. I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm really going insane. I don't trust in anything anymore. What's the use? Promises made are easily broken. Words given are easily taken back. Is there anything more in this world worth sacrificing for? Can I ever learn to trust again? By the way. Happy New Year to all those reading my blog.