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.Thursday, June 28, 2007 ' 1:48 AM Y
This is going to be a rather random post. Because I haven updated for days and quite alot of things have happened.

First, let's talk about last Saturday. Absent-mindeded me almost lost my wallet on the bus. I have totally no idea how I managed to leave it on the bus, but I just did. And for the whole day I was so damn jittery and upset. Because it would cost alot of time and effort to replace all my cards, especially my IC, Ez-link and student card. BUT! I'm a lucky darling. Because apparently someone living near my block found my wallet and returned it to my mom at home. I didn't even know about it until I called my sister to borrow money, thinking that I would have to replace all the lost cards. That was when she told me "Oh your wallet is at home!" I was really surprised man. Its like, it took the whole day for me to finally accept the fact that my wallet was probably lost forever, but I actually got it back! I'm really grateful to whoever that honest fella was. I don't know who you are or how to contact you, but thank you no matter what. If I were Christian, I'd pray for God to bless you forever. But I'm not. Haha. So all I can do is to thank you with all my heart. =)

~*~

Moving on, the last week of the holidays was pretty enjoyable (to me). I spent last Thursday, Saturday and Sunday hanging out with Van and Ben (and Gray also lah). And I finally learned to play pool last Sunday. I remember the last time ZH and Gray tried to teach me, I ended up losing my temper because I felt they were laughing at me. Pretty childish of me lah, but at that time my inferiority complex problem was still quite serious. So yea. Oversensitive. But last Sunday, I managed to put down my pride and not care about embarrassing myself. And I had fun! And I finally realised that I'm also able to sit back and not look at things so seriously all the time. Happy day! Keke.

~*~

School's started and I've gotten the results for my term tests. Did VERY badly. So bad that I'm ashamed to tell you guys about it. So for this term, I've decided to work harder at my studies. I only have 4 weeks or so to catch up with whatever I've missed, and to revise the new stuff that will be taught. Its going to be a little rushed, but I'm determined to do it no matter what. I'm also going to cut back on my part time job at Fish & Co, now that I'm doing part time tuition. Let's hope I get a few more assignments, then I can really shake off Fish & Co. Haha. Wish me luck!

~*~

Okay lahs. About time to end off. Really looking forward to this Friday. Will be going for the teatime buffet at Sakae with Van, Ben and Gray. Going to play pool after that. Can't wait! Haha. One last thing. Dear's down for NDP almost every Saturday starting this week. The people very stupid. Make them work till 1am but don't allow them to claim cab fare. What the hell right? But anyways, that also means that I'm going to have to spend Saturdays alone. Most probably will go study at airport. Anyone who wants to be my study date? Or just sit there and accompany me? Haha. Will try not to give in to temptation to go shopping or playing. So DON'T TEMPT ME! Maybe if conditions permit, I can lunch with Dear or something. Hopefully that's the case. We'll see how it goes bah. The most deliver lunch to him. Haha.

I got to go sleep already. Going for my school's gym orientation (finally) tomorrow at 11. Regina told me I have very obvious eyebags. Oh my freaking gosh lah. Yea. So need to regenerate or whatever you call it. Basically I just need sleep. Haha. Will try to update again asap. ^.^!

loved





.Saturday, June 23, 2007 ' 2:43 AM Y
BEWARE: Long and crappy blog entry ahead. Read on for some laughs. Note: Strong sense of humor may be needed.

Did another part time stint at IKEA again today. And man, this is the first time I've ever worked until so pissed off in IKEA. In fact, I think it can rival any other "pissed-off" experiences I've ever had with customers. My job was to give out these blue little plastic bags to the customers for goodness knows what reason, with this other girl named Chu Zhen. At first I was working happily, smiling at customers until my cheeks hurt. Because the place simply makes me happy. Every time I work there I enjoy myself loads, as though I'm playing instead of working. But today was different.

After we came back from our lunch breaks, Cassandra (our IC) told us that we needed to give out bottled water too. So of course we had to comply lah. Can say no meh? So we turned the plastic bags into goody bags containing a bottle of water each. Creative right? Haha. Anyway, what made me (and CZ also) so very pissed off was the fact the Singaporeans can be so damn kiasu that I find it disgusting. Like, first when you try to hand them the bag, they avoid you like the plague because they think you're trying to sell them the bloody thing. After that they hear that its free and then they swarm up to you like bees flocking to honey. Then they will say "Can I have 2? I'm with so-and-so." Then, we have the funny parents who say "My kids need a bag too." I'm seriously very curious as to what the kids will be using the bag for. AND THEN there are the people who take and take and take and take simply because its free. There was this man who came up to me and asked for extra bags. I told him "Sorry, 1 per customer." And he very loudly and rudely (bu shuang lah) said: "You sure anot?! I got over ten already you know?!" STUPID LAH. GOT TEN ALREADY STILL WAN TO TAKE SO MANY. WIPE YOUR ARSEHOLE IS IT? Why are there such morons on earth?!!

That's 3 different kinds of people already. And there's still more to go. There is this certain group of customers who will shake their hand and turn away when you try to hand them a bag. They think they need to pay mah. After when they hear its free, they turn around and ask for two. Before you think I'm repeating myself, read on first. After you pass them 2 bags, all the while with a very "tu-lan" smile on your face, they turn back and exclaim:" HAR?!! SO SMALL ARH? PUT WHAT?" Zzz... Then don't take lah! Still walk away with the plastic bags all the while complaining about the size of the thing. Like, please lah. People give you freebies you still want complain. Too small then don't take lah! CZ was the best. When one customer asked her the same question ("So small put what?!"), she told the woman: Put small things lor. LOL. Both of us were so pissed off and disgusted by the behaviour of those people that we resorted to pasting sacarstic smiles on our face and NOT talking to the customers. Anything just nod and smile or shake our head and smile. Haha.

THEN THEN THEN there's this group of people who want to make themselves feel/look better, so when they grab 3 or 4 extra bags, they tell us (and themselves) that its to help save the environment. Oh my freaking GHOST! I thought precisely the more you take the more you waste. Like that how to save environment I ask you?

Last but NOT least, we have this special group of people who also grab the plastic bags like its some national treasure. That would be the IKEA staffs. I'm not saying ALL of them. I'm saying the cashier aunties and the trolley steward uncles. Early in the morning when we just started work, they came over and started taking from us already. One stupid bastard (trolley uncle) even took like, more than 10 pieces can. FOR WHAT I ASK YOU? I even "suan" him. I stood there and pretended to chit chat with him (all the while disliking him with all my heart) and said:" Why you guys want so many of the bags? I would never be caught dead carrying one of those. So "throw-face", 'cause the bag very "obiang"." His reply was that he could use the bags for grocery shopping at NTUC. One shoulder carry one. So total at one time only can carry 2 right? And the bag is supposed to be reusable. Which means that you can bring it home after shopping and use again the next time round. So why take so many? You got ten shoulders to carry all the bags is it? And as if he will even use it. *Rolls eyes*

I am thoroughly disgusted and ashamed of the behaviour of all those "kiasu" customers (and staff). Please do not travel abroad and announce to the world that you are Singaporeans. I'm not saying I'm almighty and superior to everyone else, but at least I don't go for petty gains like PLASTIC BAGS. One is enough what. Take so many for what? Our President won't visit you and say :"WAH! You got so many IKEA plastic bags. VERY GOOD! You are a model citizen!" =.=" I think PAP should have a meeting and come up with ways to curb this super "kiasu" kind of behaviour from Singaporeans. Here's an example of what they should do:

PM Lee: Let's come up with ways to try and minimise the "kiasu-ness" of our citizens.

MM Lee: Yes, my son is right. He's very clever! Come! Lets think!

Thinking in progress......

PAP Member 1: I KNOW! We FINE the people who are too kiasu!

PM Lee: Good idea! Fine how much? $1k? $2k? Is that too little?

PAP Member 1: 5k! See who still dare to be "kiasu"!

PAP Member 2: But how do we define "kiasu"? They can say that there're taking the freebies for their friends and families what.

PM Lee: Yah arh... Hmm... Come! Let's think somemore!

Thinking in progress again...

PAP Member 3: I know how to define "kiasu" already!

All present: HOW?!

PAP Member 3: "Kiasu" will refer to all those people who takes lots and lots of freebies and claim they need it when common sense tells you that they're only taking because its free!

All present: Orh... Like that ar... Okay lor... (Thinks to themselves) Die liao lor. Next time no more free food sample liao. T.T!!!

Haha. That was something I came up on the spot all by myself. Stupid right? But its just for fun and laughter lah, though I really hope that there was something we could do to make people stop being so "kiasu".

I know this post was pretty draggy and crappy, what with me venting my frustrations about work, but I hope whoever is still reading on at this point liked the "skit" I came up with. Haha. Remember. Its just for FUN AND LAUGHTER. Please have a sense of humor. And last thing before I sign off, here's a bit of advice for readers. IKEA no longer provides free plastic bags (as in those NTUC kind) to customers. One small plastic bag costs 5 cents and a large one costs 10 cents. So next time you decide to shop at IKEA, you might want to bring along your own bags unless you don't mind paying the extra few cents. All proceeds from the sale of the plastic bags go towards the WWF (World Wildlife Fund, now also known as World Wide Fund for Nature). THIS is the real meaning of "saving the environment". Anyone who wants a free reusable bag (one size only) from IKEA can head down to any of their two stores this weekend and next weekend to get one (or maybe two.) But remember, DON'T BE KIASU! =)

loved





.Friday, June 22, 2007 ' 4:09 AM Y
I don't know why but recently I've simply lost the "feel" for blogging. Or rather, the enthusiasm. Its as though I'm having mood swings. Haha. One moment feel like blogging, the next moment no mood. Pretty stupid lah. So don't blame me if one day this blog starts rotting again. Won't be much of a surprise. Heehee.

~*~

Anyway, watched Surf's Up with Van, Ben and Dear today at GV Yishun. The show's quite nice lah. Just that abit confusing at times. Pretty entertaining, and very nice storyline. One thing about cartoons is that although the animation stuff is there to entertain the kids, the storyline of the whole movie could teach adults one or two things about managing their life. Like in Surf's Up, what I "learnt" was that sometimes in life, you need to learn to take a lighter look at things around you. Sometimes, we just need to relax ourselves and enjoy life instead of competing non-stop for meaningless things. And more importantly, never give up just because of failures. Haha. Wow. I feel so enlightened. *Puke*. Keke.

~*~

Right now while I'm blogging away happily, Van and ZH are on the phone quarreling ducks and chickens about which part of Singapore Pasir Ris Park is in. East as in east-west, east-south, east-north or whatever lah. I also don't know why they want to argue about that lah. VERY meaningless right? =.=" Haha. In case you don't know, I'm conferencing with them on the phone now. Quite unfortunate of me right? Have to put up with two "bo liao" people arguing about this kind of things. LOL. If they read this, they're probably going to kill me. =D

Its been a long long time since we last conferenced. I remember years ago when we used to conference almost every night. And it wasn't just us 3 idiots arguing over crazy stuff. It was e 6 idiots talking about anything and everything under the sun. Lol. Sorry I call you guys idiots. Joke. But on a serious note, I do miss those days. Nowadays all sleep like pig. Want to arrange conference like trying to arrange meeting with the President or something. Zzz. Don't you just miss the good old days? *Sighs*

~*~

Hey guys! Find one day go night cycling want? My route of interest: Cycle to Bedok for supper, then go Pasir Ris Park feel the sea breeze, watch sunrise, then go Changi Village eat breakfast. Then home sweet home! Anyone interested? Lol. Okay lah. This post is so damn random. Its just because I'm just finding random stuff to blog about. Haha. Stupid huh? Guess I better go to sleep already. After I hang up the phone, that is.

loved





.Monday, June 18, 2007 ' 1:55 AM Y
Been a few days since I blogged. Haha. Didn't really have the mood because something cropped up to stress me and Dear out again. But its over. For now. *Sighs* It never ends. And although I am not bound by any terms to help, I cannot possibly just sit there and do nothing either. Sometimes I really wonder why the world continues to hold such idiots and worthless assholes who do nothing but create burdens for their families. I know I'm being very bad, but there is really no other to way to put what I feel into words.

~*~

I recently finished a book by
Jodi Picoult titled My Sister's Keeper. [ Its a story about a girl named Anna who was a product of preimplantation genetic diagnosis-something like a genetically engineered baby. She was born for one purpose, and that was to help her sister, Kate, fight leukemia. Whenever Kate needs something to make her better, Anna is the one who donates it, because as a PGD baby, she was crafted specially for this purpose, and therefore is a perfect match for Kate. One day when Kate needs a kidney transplant and their parents automatically assume that Anna will donate her kidney to Kate, Anna decides that she has had enough and sues her parents for rights to her own body. ] The whole story is a little draggy but super touching. Especially the ending. I won't say what the ending is about, but I will admit that I cried pretty badly when I read till the end. Highly recommend that book. In fact, anyone interested can loan it from me. =)

~*~

Dinner was at Fish & Co @ Paragon today. Father's Day. So went for something different from usual. Surprisingly, my dad enjoyed the Seafood Platter. Didn't get to try the stingray though. Its something I've been wanting to try for quite some time. =( Oh well, maybe next time.

After dinner we went shopping around Orchard area. Went to John Little where my dad bought a few shirts and 2 pants. Haha. Total bill was about $250! Including one pair of my own pants. =D Went to Geylang for durian after that. Yummy! Very long never eat durian already. D24 somemore. Nice treat! Keke. After that headed down to Marina South to pick up my dad's regular customer. He owns the drinks and chicken rice stalls at a coffeeshop there, and my dad drives him home everyday after he closes his stalls. Anyway, found out the whole Marina South area will be turned into Botanic Gardens after around November this year. Which means that all the steamboat, bowling, pool and even that uncle's coffeeshop will not exist anymore. How sad. No more steamboat! T.T!!! Haha.

~*~

That's about all for today. Not really in the mood for blogging. Just updating for the sake of it. Haha. Will be doing some baking at QR's house on Wednesday so need to go and dig out the recipe for chocolate muffins. Look forward to some delicious news in 3 days time! Lols.

loved





.Wednesday, June 13, 2007 ' 11:58 PM Y
I've got alot of things to blog about!~



BEWARE: Long post ahead.



As everyone knows, Monday was the start of TA02's class chalet. And it was on that very same day that I fell sick. Damn suay right?! Let me narrate the whole story:



I woke up on Monday morning feeling pretty giddy. Went to the toilet and BLEAHS! Vomitted. Then, I went back to my bed to lie down, feeling very much better. 1 hour later, I woke up feeling giddy and again I vomitted. Eww right? Plus, I hadn't had breakfast yet, so the whole vomitting process was truly painful like hell okay. =(



Fast forward to the afternoon. I cabbed down to White Sands to meet up with Cindy, Gary, Shawn, Sean and Shu Hua. While walking out to the main road I was already feeling quite breathless already, but upon reaching there, I felt as though I was having an asthma attack can! And the thing is, I have NO HISTORY OF ASTHMA! Cindy was very kind to accompany me to the clinic at White Sands. We had to wait for quite long because the stupid doctor and his receptionist went out on a meal break and came back later than the 1.30 that they wrote. ZZZ (SCANDAL!!! Hahas)... Then I had to wait for another 2 patients before me. I felt really TERRIBLE man! Like going to faint like that. And Cindy even told me my face looked very pale. !!! Anyways, here's the doctor's diagnosis: Stomach flu. Or something like that lah. Haha. Total cost: $22 for 2 packs of tablets. Super expensive lor! =(



After that we cabbed up to Costa Sands Pasir Ris because I think we missed the shuttle bus. Met up with Elvis, Rui Shan, Tarin and Kenny there, then checked in and headed off to our chalet room (P06). Actually wanted to rest there, but didn't feel like sleeping. Haha. Gary started setting up his PS2 and we all sat around and ate the muffins that Gary's mom had made. I ate only about half before I puked again. YUCK! After felt so much so much better. Haha. I played mahjong with Rui Shan, Tarin and Elvis. Heh heh. Patient's luck. I won $7.20! Eh, that's alot okay, considering that we played at like 10 cents per "tai". Hahas. Oh yah. Had some fried bee hoon too.



Most embarrassing story of my life: I left the chalet at about 5 plus because I was gonna stay over at Dear's house. While cabbing down from the chalet, I actually puked in the cab! The driver even thought I was drunk okay! Damn malu can! Haha. Then had to change cab at downtown. Went down to Seletar to pick up dear, then went back to Yishun. Total cab fare was about $15 I think. Dear paid. =D The moment I reached Dear's house, I headed for bed and fell asleep. Total knock out. Woke up at about 8pm with a fever. =.=" Then watch about 15 minutes of Campus Superstar and then fell asleep again. Woke up again at 9.30, washed my face, took some Panadol, then went back to sleep again. Haha. I didn't eat dinner because I was afraid I'd vomit again.



Tuesday morning: Went for breakfast with Dear and family at about 6 plus (am). Had fishball noodles in soup. I didn't even manage to finish one-quarter. 1st time in my whole life I eat so little hor. After that went back to Dear's house. Sleep again. LOL. Woke up at 11 plus. NO MORE FEVER! Woots~!!! Dear even came back early to accompany me leh! So sweet right??? Thanks so much dear! Love you loads! Keke.



Anyways, I took 39 down to Pasir Ris to meet Regina and Jun. I missed my stop and had to walk a few extra metres to reach White Sands. Took the shuttle bus down to Costa Sands. The rest had already started preparing for BBQ. Overall the BBQ was pretty much a success. Haha. Jun left at about 7 plus, and Evalyn reached only at about 8 or 9 I think. After BBQ, we played a few rounds of Blackjack (I lost about $2!) then went to Cheers to get vodka and beer. Haha. I shared a peach Breezer with Regina, and bought a tub of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Yummy!!! Keke. Headed back to the chalet to put down the drinks before we went to the beach to play rocket. Camwhoring session there. Haha. Then went back to chalet at about 2am. Haha. Most of them drink until very high; they screamed and hooted all the way back. LOLS. Back at the chalet, we took turns bathing (some of them went to the swimming pool toilet to bathe) then Cindy slept while the rest of us slack around. Haha. Supper was cup noodles. Then bedtime! Keke. Cindy, Regina, Shu Hua and I slept throughout till about 9 plus. The rest managed to catch the sunrise! =( Sad that I didn't have the chance, but tired mahs. =D Anyways, checked out this morning and cabbed home. Had porridge for lunch, then took a little nap before I headed off for my first tutoring session (I'm the tutor lah!). Cabbed to my tutee's house. LOL.

~*~

That's about all for the past 3 days. Still feeling abit weird every now and then, but nothing major already. But my wallet's suffering pretty bad. Cabbing too much le. Keke. But I'm so used to it already! *sheepish look* Oh yah. I would like to take this chance to thank everyone from TA02 who showed loads and loads of care and concern when I was sick. Especially Cindy. Thank you so so so so much! =)!! Sorry for the being too overly detailed. Haha. Didn't know any way else to describe everything. Will try to post up photos asap k?

loved





.Monday, June 11, 2007 ' 1:24 AM Y
After much effort I finally managed to find the song "Would You Be There" by Redwan Ali. Okay, I know I'm abit slow, but I actually wasn't really looking for the song until I came across it on Imeem today. I love the lyrics so much that I've actually started to memorise them already. In fact, I've decided to post the lyrics here just to share with everyone. Haha. I've put the song as the music for my blog so do enjoy! =)

~*~

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that’s okay.
Would you stand by me,
Let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender love and care.
Would you die for me,
Would you run with me,
And never look back.

Would you be there to love, to be with me ?
Would you swear that your love is always true ?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one, to take my
breath away ?

Would you be there to love, to be with me ?
Would you swear that your love is always true ?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one, to take my
breath away ?

Would you be there ..

~*~

I bought a new MP3 yesterday! Its the Zen Neeon by Creative. Yup. Its a pretty old model, but at $149 for 6GB, you gotta admit that its a real bargain. ^.^! Besides, Dear paid for it. Keke. But I need to pay him back a little when my pay comes lah. Hahas. I finally finished setting up and configuring my Zen Neeon today so I can finally listen to music on the go! Haha. Considering going for the Zen Stone next month. Then Dear can use the Neeon. Hee. So far the Neeon is pretty easy to use. The only grumble I have for now is that the player takes a whole 6 hours to charge the battery fully. And the power adaptor DOES NOT come with the package. Means I have to go down to Marina again just to get the adaptor. =.=" For now, I can only rely on my laptop for charging power. =( But nevertheless, I still love my Neeon! Maybe I can get some nice Stik-Ons too! HAHA! Okay lah. Enough ranting about that.

Tomorrow will be the first day of the TA02 chalet! So looking forward to it. Hahas. I think we're one of the first classes in our year to organise a class chalet. And I know we're going to have lots and lots of fun! Still debating whether I should stay over on the first night because if I'm not wrong, there won't be many people staying over. See how first bah.

~*~

My mom has given me the green light to use our new DigiCam as often as I like. FINALLY! Heh heh. From now on, I'll be bringing the camera around with me whenever I go out. Who knows? Maybe I can camwhore a little too! LOLS. So vain of me hor?

~*~

I've been a happy happy girl lately. So many new stuff. Camera, MP3, handphone (although I'm still waiting for the purple one to arrive). Keke. And my pay for this month is a record high for me! MUAHAHAHA! Okay lahs, before you guys start scolding me for crapping so much, try out this game that I found today. Its a little lame, but pretty enjoyable. Helps to kill time when you're bored. Keke. Click here to try it out!

loved





.Friday, June 08, 2007 ' 6:15 PM Y
I've read about half of the book "Rich Dad Poor Dad" and I'm totally addicted. Not because its an interesting story about romance, mystery or anything, but because what I've read so far has made me change my way of thinking and changed my map of my future life. I'm going to go into details about what the book touches about, but basically the author teaches people to "understand the difference of accumulating assets and liabilities", and to "understand the importance of financial literacy". Its something like taking accounting lessons, but in a different way. Its more of an insight into the reality of the financial world. Haha. I really suck at explaining this, but all I can say is that I really really recommend this book. Its a pretty worthy investment at only $18 or so. If you want to get the book at a cheaper price, now would probably be a great time. Great Singapore Sale in full swing. Discounts everywhere! Haha. Plus, CD-Rama, Popular and Harris are having a 20% discount storewide thing at Orchard MRT because its their moving out sale. I bought my copy from Harris at only $14. Haha. Here's a warning though. If you're not someone who has accounting background, or if you're taking accounting and having a hard time understand the subject, then you will have to take some time to understand what the author is trying to tell you.

I'll do a full and complete review of the book as well as put in some of my personal reflections when I finally finish the book. Hopefully that would be by some time next week.

Countdown to TA02's chalet: 3 more freakin' days!

loved





.Thursday, June 07, 2007 ' 6:27 PM Y
Common test is finally over! I think I pretty much screwed up most of my papers, especially BSTA and CIP. I basically suck at Maths and I will never ever be able to remember definitions of the different hardware and software systems. So that's two screwed up papers. I think yesterday was one of my lousier days. The moment after my BSTA paper was collected I felt a million kilos heavier. So down that I didn't have any energy to speak. Simply put, I was damn SIAN. Its the exact same feeling I get during secondary school after every single Mathematics paper. And what made it worse was that for this CT, BSTA was an OPEN-BOOK TEST! Freaking gosh. If open-book test also cannot handle then how am I going to survive this semester? I don't want to fail any subjects. As for MIEC and INFA, I think I can at least scrape a pass.

I'm terribly disappointed and angry at myself about not being able to do well for INFA. I guess that's what overconfidence brings. Lesson learned. At least I'm still humble enough to admit that now. Still have time to work on it. Lets all pay attention in class together! Hahas.

~*~

Went to Bugis with Shu Hua and Regina today. Lunched at Fish & Co, where we ordered a Seafood Platter for 2, a Jungle Freeze and a Soup of the Day. Yummy! Then we complain this and complain that and ended up with extra fries and rice. LOLS! After that went over to BHG (formerly known as Seiyu) to shop for Regina's dress. She has a wedding dinner to attend next Saturday so she wanted to get something nice. Couldn't find anything satisfactory so we headed off to take neoprint! Haha. Been quite some time since I took neoprints so I quite enjoyed myself. I even had a solo photo shoot. Keke. I know. I'm VAIN. Cannot arh?!

Haha... I was actually just finding something to cheer myself up, 'cuz I was feeling pretty down again. Looking at all the nice nice clothes and knowing that they wouldn't ever fit me sort of brought out my inferiority complex. Not to mention the fact that I was shopping with two slim chio bus. Cold HARD reality. Ouch. Sorry to S.H and Regina for giving you guys such a "sian" face. Maybe next time kies? Haha. What made me feel even crappier were my aching feet. I've never been much of a hardcore shopper. A few hours of walking around is more than enough to make my feet start whining. Maybe I need more practise. Keke.

~*~

Pay is coming! Within the next three days I'll be another 400 bucks richer! Hehe. Yup! That's how much I worked last month. Almost slogged my guts out for that 400 plus bucks okay... I'm going to spend about $150 on a new MP3 player and then take out some to help dear with his bills. I like that plan =)!

S.H told me about some door-to-door survey thing. Target is to finish 42 surveys over 10 days and for each survey you earn 5 bucks. That's a whooping $210. Add that on to whatever I can earn from Fish & Co this month and I'll be having quite some money Lets hope I can get that job. Keke. I'm not a workaholic or desperate for money lah. I just want to have some savings. I bought the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" at Orchard yesterday and its actually quite a useful book. So far it teaches us readers that "rich people do not work for money. They make money work for them". Haha. I hope to be like that too. But I don't think now's the time. Let's see what happens when I finish the whole book. Maybe somewhere in the middle there will be some tips on how to manage money while schooling. Hehs. Oh yah. So far the book has also mentioned that it is important to learn about finance and how to manage it. Seems like accounting is more useful than it seems. ^.^!

And that's about it all for today's entry. Haha. I know I always end off my entries very awkwardly. That's because I don't know how to end "interestingly"! So pardon me please? Hee... Dear got held up in camp today so he'll be booking out late. Later going to meet him for dinner. But in the meantime, let's get some rest first. I'm tired(I woke up and 5.40 this morning okay!). Zzz... Hahas. Ta-ta all! =)

loved





.Wednesday, June 06, 2007 ' 2:24 AM Y
This is the first time I have ever seen my tagboard so flooded. Thanks to everyone who tagged. Thanks for your concerns. This is the first time ever that I've received so many positive comments altogether at one time. Sec 4E probably wouldn't have acknowleged this blog's existence. I'm so touched that I really don't know what to say.

Contrary to what people may think, I did not post the previous entry with the intention of attracting attention. It was just what I felt at the point of time. I don't know how to explain lahs. Hahas. Its like, after enjoying so much, I started to doubt my happiness. I started to question whether it is real. Because I was too afraid to let myself hope that things could actually turn out different. After more than 4 years of hoping and facing disappointment, it was hard for me to believe that I could ever be accepted within any circle of friends. In fact, I entered NP already resigned to lunching and heading to classes alone. Its not that I'm a negative person or anything, its just that after so much that has happened, I find it hard to be positive. I suppose people who know me from NP find that hard to believe, because right from the start since I entered the school, I've been nothing but cheerful and outspoken. And I actually take the initiative to talk to people and make friends. Haha. Even I can't believe that I've actually changed so much. To cut off the crap, I'm simply grateful to TA02 and everyone else in NP who actually brought out this change in me. I know that you guys probably think this is nothing, but to me, its like a luxury that I've never been able to enjoy before.

Alright alright. This will be my last "emo" post for some time to come so just let me emotionalise all I want for now okays? I've been doing quite a lot of self-reflection over the few months since I graduated and started working. I've definitely changed and grown alot. Yeah, I'm still the same old stubborn me, and some might say, always starting quarrels, but in other aspects, I'm no longer who I used to be. My way of thinking is different now, and I actually set goals and targets for myself to work towards to. I don't want to be the old me; always worrying about failing subjects, yet not bothering to do anything about my studies until the last minute. And I'm trying my hardest to be more positive and less oversensitive. No more depressed teen thinking too much and crying herself to sleep. And no more cutting. That I swear. Till date, I have not made any more markings on my wrist ever since September 5,2006. Maybe even before that. Haha. My scars are still there though, and they serve as a reminder of all the unhappiness, childishness and foolishness that used to be me. No more of that. Let lightning strike me to death, should I ever attempt to cut myself again. One day maybe I can write a book about why teenagers turn to cutting themselves. ^.^!

~*~

Enough of sadness. Here are some updates for the past few days or so. Went to the PC show at Suntec last Sunday and bought a camera and a new phone. Both Samsung. Hahas. We only got to shopped at those two booths because Daddy was in a rush to pick up his regular customers. =.=" Also because we dallied too long at the camera booth listening to the promotor "pyscho-ing" us to buy the camera, deciding on which colour to get, and paying the for camera. Don't ask me what model is it, because I don't know either. Haha. All I know is: Can slide out one. LOL. Very cool though. I'll be using it to take some pictures when I go back to Dunman either this week or the next. I just remembered that the school will be undergoing PRIME sometime this year and I want to capture some memories before everything is torn down. Somehow, I can't imagine Dunman with a new look. I mean, after so many years in there, its hard to believe that one day I'll walk by and be unable to recognise my own former secondary school. T.T! So yeah, I'm going to take some very important pictures because I'm afraid that someday I will forget.

Now. The phone. My phone. FREAKING SHIT GOT PROBLEM LESS THAN 24 HOURS AFTER I BOUGHT IT! NABEH! Okay, so my mom bought it for me. But its still my phone. In a very nice shade of purple. And now I may have to change to another colour because today when I brought down to their HQ at Geylang Road they told me no more stock in purple. OMFG! Left the "orbit-obiang" red-don't-look-like-red, pink-don't-look-like-pink colour. Never will I be caught walking on the streets using that. The worst thing was that they couldn't even confirm when the new stocks will be coming. Freak lah. Wait until moon drop down still no stock how? Eat green cheese to comfort myself is it? (Ok lah, I'm being lame.) ANGRY!

~*~

Facing a little bit of financial problems again. It upsets me to see dear so stressed up about work and money. There's so little I can do for him that sometimes I feel pretty useless. I'm trying to put in as many hours at Fish & Co as I can without neglecting him, just so that I can earn more money. So that when he has to draw on his own meagre pay to cover the bills, I can actually help him out a little. That's about the only thing I can do right now. =(

~*~

Over the months since I've picked up blogging again, I've been using this blog as a real diary. By writing about all my frustrations and sadness, I actually feel much better. Not to mention that I can share my happiness with those who bother to read my blog too! Hahas. Maybe some of the stuff I say sound a little attention-seeking, but I can swear that I'm not.

Long entry for today. Gotta stop and go to sleep. Thanks again to everyone who really made my day (and my life) so much happier. Love all my darlings. Haha. And to Regina: You didn't have to say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It was just my inner demons. =)!

Oh by the way, one last thing. I've changed the song on my blog to one whole playlist of the new songs from S.H.E's newest album because I thought it was time for some change. Please give me some comments, especially whether you guys prefer the new playlist or the previous song. Thanks in advance!

loved





.Friday, June 01, 2007 ' 12:10 AM Y
I have blogged so much over the past few months. This is my 80th post. And it is not going to be a happy one. Something happened today that made me start questioning my happiness. Something happened last night that brought back so many memories for me and made me yearn for what can never be. Ever again.

I guess it might just be the monthlies, but I'm not feeling very cheerful today. I don't know if she remembers, but there was this red-and-blue NIKE wristband that QR and I bought when I was just in Secondary 1. We had barely known each other for half a year then. But I remember it was the day that SK and SQ left that each a letter and a bottle of saga seeds, making us choose between sticking with BC or with them. Seems so long ago. But I still remember. And that was the day the SK returned me all the money that I had been saving all along. It was a whole whooping 90 bucks, and at that point of time, it was the largest amount of money I had ever possessed at any one time. It should have been much lesser, because while I asked SK to save the money for me, I told him to deduct from that "savings" whenever I spent. But he never did. And I ended up with a "fortune". Angry at the two of them for making us so upset, QR and I headed off to TM for a huge shopping spree to make ourselves feel better. And that was when we bought the wristbands. One each. Exactly the same.

And yesterday night, while packing my bag, I came across my wristband. By instinct, I slipped it on and suddenly realised that it had become very much looser than it used to be. Almost as if it were a reminder of the huge change in our friendship. A reminder that was what ever closeness there was between us is now all in the past. We moved on in directions so different that we simply lost track of each other except for the occasional glimpse every now and then. All I want to say is that I miss you, QR. I miss you as I miss the rest of our clinche. And I miss you as much as I miss the old days when we could sit at McDonald's for a whole 3 hours chatting about nothing. But the present you is not the same QR I knew 3 years ago. And perhaps it is time to for me to stop clinging onto the past. But can one ever really stop looking back to wonderful times and hope to bask in that joy once more? Can one ever really forget suck beautiful memories and move on as if they had never happened before? I seriously doubt so. And yet, I have no idea what I should do. Let go? Or hold on? Both choices equally antagonising, both equally painful.

~*~

Already feeling very down, Elvis' words were of no comfort to me either. I shall not quote him or even mention what he said, but the impact of his words was enough for me to questioning whatever I have now. I cannot lie and say that I am actually hiding under the mask of happiness, for I truly am happy with what I have now. But I am actually starting to question whether others actually look upon me as a fool. In some ways, I am my own person. But in other ways, I have almost become a shadow of Regina. No. I don't mean that I've lost myself. Its just that I'm not longer the one who speaks up anymore. Even when I do, I find that people seldom notice me. I'm not trying to vie for attention; I just feel that I no longer bring significance into others' lives. Yes, I can find a place in the class. But sometimes I feel that my place is only because of Regina. I started wondering where I would be if Regina wasn't here. Would it be like a repeat of secondary school? I'm not jealous of her lah. For I know she is a wonderful friend. I'm just starting to doubt myself. Insecurities again. Its like the same old cycle of questions circling my mind. Are they actually laughing at my stupidity behind my back? Are they nice to me only because of Regina?

I know I sound so very depressed like I used to be. But pardon my being so "EMO" all of a sudden. Like I said, maybe its the monthlies. Add on my own oversensitive nature and tah-dah! A million insecurities. I know I will feel better again by tomorrow. But whatever I have written on this post is absolutely true of what I am feeling. Especially the first part. I really do miss you guys. We have gone through so much together in 3 years, more than any pair of friends could have gone through in a lifetime. It would really be such a pity if this was truly the end of our friendship.

loved






































THE LOVED ONE;

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