.Tuesday, August 28, 2007 ' 3:16 AM Y
I've been thinking way too much again. For some unclear reason, I started pondering over this question while mapling: What determines the successfulness of a person? Maybe its just my inferiority complex rearing its ugly head; I started comparing myself to all those around me. First of all, let's talk about my sister. At barely 21 she's earning a salary of 2k a month, has numerous debit cards, investments and high-interest savings accounts in various banks, and on the verge of getting her very first credit card (or trying to psycho my dad into signing one for her). Oh, I don't know. If you don't call that successful, then I have idea what is. I mean, look at me. I'm teaching tuition and working part time here and there sometimes, but I still struggle to make ends meet on certain months. My savings account is totally trash and my wallet just contains cards that are there for show. Things like Ez-link, student card, Zone-X arcade card etc etc. Pretty hard to believe that we're sisters right? No wonder my parents are so proud of her. Often, she comes home and rambles on about this new investment or that, while I reach home and shut myself in my room with the laptop straight after bathing. I know that I'm also at fault, but somehow I just can't find anything to talk to them about. =SNow lets talk about friends. I'm not going to mention names. Because it just doesn't seem like a wise move. But the word friends includes everyone I've known from the past till now. EVERYONE. Well anyway. The thing is, somehow, some way or other, I just feel like an odd angle sticking out. No no, not the "emo" thing. I don't feel ostracised or anything. Its just that, its very obvious that our train of thoughts travel in entirely different directions. Our thinking differ way too much, until sometimes I feel as though 1) I'm being bratty or 2) they're simply too childish. But I still can't help but envy the way they are able to make friends so easily. The way people just like and accept them automatically whereas its not that simple for me. Somehow around them, I always end up being "part of the background". Sometimes because I choose to do so; sometimes because I simply don't know what to say or do to join in. Somehow, I've lost the ability to make people laugh, and that discredits me since I seldom have anything in common to share. And when I do, few people bother to listen. =G
Thus, with these comparisons, am I deemed to be a failure? -Don't know.I have no idea why I suddenly had those kind of thoughts, but I just did. And I felt compelled to blog about them. Alright. Now that I've gotten those wicked demons out of my head, I'm backing to surfing Youtube again. Haha. Still caught in my "Alec-obssession". =P
.Saturday, August 25, 2007 ' 2:57 AM Y
Prepost: I changed my blog song again. You're now listening to 你是我的一滴泪 (You're my drop of tear) by Alec Su. Nice right? And no. I'm saying that its nice simply because I like him. In this case, I seriously like the song itself okay. Lyrics are um... so-so, but tune and melody is nice nice nice~! FINALLY~! The exams are over. Finally I can get to sleep without worrying about anything. Been suffering from a serious lack of sleep the past few days; never more than 3 or 4 hours in a day. Its making my temper short, and my mood swings more prominent. Strangely though, I had the energy and enthusiasm to go shopping today after the exams. Haha. Even now, at this ghostly hour of 2am, I'm still wide awake, blogging and anticipating a good read after this. Today's shopping mood was pretty dampened. I don't know how to explain how I feel or what I think without sounding like a spoilt brat; I just feel that it was sort of unfair for BC to say whatever he did. Okay. Let's get this thing clear from the start. MIEC paper ended at 11. After lots of "hoo-ha" with everyone else, we finally got our legs moving towards to the bus-stop opposite school. Took my own sweet time getting to Bugis, because I knew QR and Ben were sure to be late (and boy, were they SUPER late...). My tummy threw a tantrum today. Or maybe it was my intelligent brain trying to lead it astray. Knowing full well that my wallet was "pretty full", my tummy refused to settle for lunch at MacDonalds or Yoshinoya. Walked about the whole of Parco Bugis looking for things to do and trying to find a appetite. Was seriously tempted by Fish & Co. Haha. But luckily, I managed to satisfy my tummy with a huge dish of Creamy Chicken pasta from Pastamania. Yum yum~! Basically I rotted for about 2-3 hours before QR and Ben finally turned up with ZH, SK and BC. Asked them for some opinions about men's wallets. Haha. I'm getting for Dear for our 1st year anniversary next month. ^.^! Then headed off the Bugis Street to shop for my bag. And I found one to my liking at only $33!!! Happy happy~! THEN ARH! BC asked us whether we wanted to Sim Lim Square because SK wanted to buy something. I thought:"Hmm... Should be quite fast bah..." So I agreed LOR. BUT~! Me and Ben spent the rest of the day trailing behind the others while they weaved from shop to shop, looking and comparing prices of the CPU that SK is supposed to custom for QR's dad. Now, I don't have a problem with shopping for my friends' wants. But then to expect me to trail around them and look at the same kind of thing of close to 2 hours... Ain't that pushing it a little too far? PLUS. I'm not a computer whiz or anything okay? While they were contemplating how to fit in the motherboard, comparing watts and whatever else, I was tittering on the brink of boredom and insanity. Because to me, those empty CPU cases are just what they EMPTY CPU CASES. I know I'm shallow lah. But hello?! I just finished my exams today. All I want to do is to enjoy myself shopping and go look at different stuff, wishing I could have them but too stingy to buy. And in the end all I got to do was to rot on my own for 2+ hours, buy a bag, and then spend the rest of the day looking at EMPTY, SQUARISH BOXES?! Liao eh. Even a saint has limited patience okay. And when I sort of "expressed my thoughts", BC had the cheek to tell me something along the lines of "We came here specially to look at the CPU cases one what!" Oh my freakin' god lah~! Didn't know what else to say, so I just walked away. Totally SIEN liao. Guess that's what you get when you go shopping with GUYS. I'm not blaming a bad day on anyone or whatsoever. Just let me complain and grumble. That's something I have to right to do on my own blog, isn't it? And now that I've finished splittering and spluttering and the injustice I deem myself to have suffered, I feel GREAT. Muahahaha~! I think everyone should "take a leaf out of my blog". Next time you're finally sad or angry or anything negative, just head towards your blog (or use Microsoft Word if you don't own a blog) and start rambling off all your unhappiness. Don't give a damn about what others are going to think about your rambling; its perfectly none of their business. =) And don't worry about acting like spoilt brat. Afterall, there are days when we don't feel like being the good little angel that we normally are. So go ahead and complain. Grumble all you want. Whatever. "Emo's" the IN thing now. Especially at emotionalism.blogspot.com. HAHA. Damn. Looking at those empty CPU cases emptied my brain. Now I'm behaving and writing like a retard. =.=" *Mumfphropiewe? ^.^!*Word invented and copyrighted by Yours Truly. =)
.Wednesday, August 22, 2007 ' 12:44 PM Y
Today was BSTA exam. And I walked out of the exam hall at 11 am, feeling as though Death has come to claim me. I couldn't manage to successfully finish one single question. Oh sure I wrote some stuff here, there and everywhere. But 50% of it is crap and the other 50% are answers that I'm not sure of either. After the paper I forced myself not to listen to other people compare their answers. I tried my best to give the same "face" that I wore during the Common Test 2 for BSTA. I succeeded. But deep down, I'm already mentally prepared to repeat the whole module. *Sighs*2 more days till I'm free~! I've decided to quit Fish & Co because I don't really enjoy working there anymore. I guess I'll miss the interaction with the customers, but at least I can relax a little more. Moreover, I have 3 students on hand currently, and I'm guessing that if Yvonne (my agent) asks me whether I'm willing to take 1 more, I will agree. Why not? Haha. Speaking of tuition, tomorrow's my last lesson with the Chai Chee girl. Haha. Finally free from the brat. Don't ask me why suddenly stop. Its not because I failed in my duties or because I gave up on her, but because of other reasons that I do not wish disclose. But starting next month, I'll be teaching a new Primary 4 girl. Haha. I found the VCD for Romance in the Rain on ome Yahoo! shopping website. Its selling at $67.99. Don't know what currency but hopefully is in Singapore dollars. Keke. I'm getting my sister to help me buy through VISA. Then I return her cash. If all goes well, tomorrow I can place the order. ^.^!!!!! Haha. I'm just excited lah. Really hope I can get the VCD. Sighs... I'm going off to take a nap. Haven't been sleeping much for the past 2 days. I've been sleeping at around 3 or 4 in the morning and waking up at 7am. My right eye hurts so much that it feels swollen and my eye bags are heavier than a panda's. Haha. Exaggerating. =)Oh yea. Last thing. I just discovered this really cool and interesting feature on my Samsung camera. Its almost like a mini Photoshop program and I had fun last night playing around with it. Will upload the results of my lovely creations in a few days. Swear~! P/S: I've finished reading Harry Potter. Quite an accomplishment huh? Finished reading in less than 48 hours. I know lah, still considered slow, but I still have to study and work ok!!! Haha. I like the story I guess. Got me totally absorbed. But I feel that the ending was a little weird lah. Like all of a sudden Harry Potter and friends grow up and get married. Suddenly feels very common doesn't it? Just like in those sappy TV dramas where they like to go "Twenty years later...". That kind of thing. Hmmm... Just my 2 cents.
. ' 12:18 PM Y
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.Tuesday, August 21, 2007 ' 12:40 AM Y
Tomorrow is the start of my semester test. Funnily, I don't really feel that nervous yet, although there's that nagging voice in the back on my mind telling me that I'm going to be so dead if I don't start studying NOW. I guess that's the problem with me. I always procrastinate and put things off until at the very last minute then I start panicking. And by then its no use anymore. Zzz...Anyway, recently haven't really updated. Haha. Because while I've been supposed to use the last 2 weeks to study and prepare for my exams, I've been staying up late every single night to watch Huan Zhu Ge Ge 2. Yup. I finally bought the DVD. Keke. And I'm just 8 episodes away from finishing the whole set. But too bad. I have to wait. =( I'm so hooked and addicted to HZGG that I spent the past few nights sitting in the darkness of my room surfing around Youtube for interesting videos when I was supposed to be sleeping. Crazy huh? And right now at this moment as I'm happily blogging away, I'm listening to and downloading Alec Su's songs at the same time. Most of his songs are very nice (so far lah.). Haha. And he's got a great voice. Deep and sexy. =P Anyone who wants can get them from me if you happen to catch a rare glimpse of my unholy presence on MSN. Keke. HANDSOME RIGHT?~?!~?!?~!?! I am supposed to be studying. But I keep getting distracted. ARGH~! And this afternoon too, when I had a few free hours on hand, I wiled them away by immersing myself in the copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which I finally managed to get my hands on from the school library. Right now I'm only about 1/3 through the whole book. Haha. I'm a bad bad girl. I actually have lots and lots of things I want to blog about but I guess we'll have to leave that until Friday, when my exams finally end. Oh! I'm going on a mass shopping trip on that day too~! Getting tuitions fees on Thursday and I'm going to pamper myself the next day. Can't wait~! Haha. Wish me luck for my exams. And good luck to all of you others too. =) P/S. I just told Celeste the biggest secret of my life. She's the only person who knows (except me and Dear of course). I'm actually surprised that I told her. But I'm glad because I know I can trust her to keep it well. And I can finally have someone to talk to regarding that. ^.^!
.Monday, August 13, 2007 ' 2:41 AM Y
I was forced into doing this meme by QR:6 weird facts about me:1. I find pleasure in being bitchy whenever it pleases me. =)2. My moods can swing from happy to sad in a span of 1 minute. 3. (Dear says) I cannot switch suddenly from one topic to another without becoming blur. 4. I can appear very nonchalant on the outside although deep inside, I feel like a ship on a stormy sea. (Sometimes lah.)5. I like to pretend I'm strong (emotionally) even though I'm actually not.6. I love asking lots of questions about all sorts of things. (It gets on Dear's nerves at times.)Wah liao thank you lah QR. You just managed to kill off about 10 million of my brain cells. It took me close to half an hour to think of all 6 okay... Headache already. You watch out. I'll start my own meme and tag you to do it. And you can be sure that I'll think of a super hard one. HAHA. =PNow there you have my meme. And off I go now to think of one to tag you all with. Muahaha~! Oh yea. Before I forget. People who have to do this: ~ Regina~ Gabriel~ Jun ~ Ming Jie~ Celeste~ EvelynHaha. I tag for the sake of tagging only. Because I know few people actually read my blog. =P
.Sunday, August 12, 2007 ' 4:20 AM Y
I finally changed my blog song~! To Clay Aiken's Love of my Life. Haha. I'm sure you guys know the link lah. Keke. But seriously, I like the song alot. And some of Clay's other songs as well. I know its pretty old already, but pardon me. Because I'm not really into english songs, I only started listening to Clay's songs because I was asking around for some new music and Gary sent them to me. He also sent me some songs by this group called Kamelot. Their songs are are slightly rockish but still very nice. Haha. Anyway, in a few hours I have to start preparing to go teach tuition at Chai Chee again. Sien. Just the thought of it turns me off. Trust me man. There is no controlling that girl. Unless Mr.Cockroach suddenly appears in her room again. Hmm...... should I? Haha.
~*~ I don't know about you guys, but somehow I have a sinking feeling that this afternoon's birthday lunch is going to be a flop. I don't know what is the problem with them guys lah. I mean, its your birthday and people are helping you to plan a little celebration. The very very least you can do is show some appreciation right? Or if you didn't want it, you should have said so from the start. Wait until one day you become as pathetic as me then you realise how lucky it is to have people planning a celebration for you okay. At least you don't have to ring up your contact list one by one and then wait for them to consider and check their pockets. And for your so-called buddies. Well... I guess the saying that birds of the same feather flock together is true. YOU ALL ARE SO FUCKING SHALLOW AND STINGY THAT YOU CAN SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY AND SOCCER BOOTS AND MAPLESTORY A-CASH CARDS BUT CAN'T AFFORD $20 FOR YOUR FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY LUNCH? Please kindly go and ram your sorry asses against the wall can? God must have been super angry at me when he put people like you guys in my path of life. Take money from parents still cannot save a freaking $20? It's not an everyday thing ok? Yea I know I'm unreasonable. I'm being a freakin' b!tch. But so what? How would you feel if you planned this event for a friend simply because for the past few years you've never really done anything for him and you just want to make it special for him this year? How would you feel if you're trying to damn bloody hard to make the whole thing successful and that person whom you're planning for DOESN'T EVEN APPRECIATE WHAT YOU'RE DOING? Man... will you please go and fuck yourself? Look. I'm not saying anything. I know things are not definite because it hasn't happened yet. But still... Right from the start he hasn't been very co-operative. Right from the start he hasn't sounded all too enthusiastic. *Sigh* Is it really all my fault? Maybe if I hadn't suggested it or started planning all this, perhaps I wouldn't be feeling so angry and sad and frustrated right now. Shit man. I'm even starting to think negatively again. URGH~! Screw it lah. We'll see how it goes later. Last thing. To BC: I know you're concerned about QR and everything. But sometimes, some things are really not meant for you to step in and say anything. Especially when it concerns me also. I dislike it to the point that everytime you do that, I feel like slapping you. And for today, I'm sorry but unluckily, you caught me in a snappish mood. I was already feeling very "pek chek" over ZH's stuff and when you suddenly messaged me that sort of SMS, I just couldn't bring myself to be friendly. Besides, I know I'm not a good person, but don't you feel that you're belittling me WAY TOO MUCH by always trying to remind me about what I should or should not do? I know I still owe QR money. I also never said that I won't return her. Surely its not too late for you to "remind" me if I still fail to pay up later on? - I know I'm a b!tch. But at this very moment, I'm enjoying the feeling of being one. At least I can vent my frustrations and anger. I just want to feel better. I just want to know that I'm not unappreciated or unloved by my friends. Is that so wrong? -Comments allowed. But if I don't like what you say, I'll delete your comment without a thought. You have been warned.
.Thursday, August 09, 2007 ' 7:23 PM Y
Happy National Day SINGAPORE!!
Are you guys watching the National Day Parade too? I AM! But I'm also watching it alone in Dear Dear's room, because he's at NDP site, on duty for God knows whatever shit they want him to do. =( Don't ask me why I never watch at my own house. That's only because I don't want to give my mom any chance to nag at me. Sorry. =D
Dear won't be able to come home early today. So sad. Its not as though they're really that busy or anything. Like, please lah, I called him and he said that for the whole afternoon they were sitting there and slacking since 10am in the morning when they reported to the NDP site. By "they" I mean Dear and the other people from his unit and all lah. Stupid can! But I guess perhaps, just MAYBE, they will get to watch the parade. LIVE. At least there are certain perks. I'm too lazy to shift my heavy ass over to Marina or Esplanade. Sorry. I just woke up from a nap, so pardon me if I'm not exactly in a *Jump jump* "WOOHOO!!! Happy BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!" kinda mood. In fact, my eyes are still half closed. Haha. Maybe next year I'll try to ballot for tickets though.
Watching the parade on TV really sucks. WHY must they slot in commercials during the parade? WAH LIAO! Its the COUNTRY"S BIRTHDAY, dammit! Can't they just forgo commercials for one day? And its only 2 hours! Make us miss the performances. S-T-U-P-I-D. Wah! See Lee Kuan Yew still walking so strong! Your ah gong can anot? I wonder how he keeps so fit. If all Singaporean elderly were like him., maybe we wouldn't have to spend so much of the country's money on supporting them. Do you think LKY sits at home and waits for people to support him? =.="
Okay lah. I blogged already. Updated already. Now for some ovredue pictures. Not the full bulk, but better than nothing OK.
In order not to make you guys scroll and scroll, I decided to compile all the pictures into a slideshow. Don't worry, I'll add captions so you guys know which photos were taken for what occasion. Please enjoy!
Thank you if you bothered to look at all the pictures. God bless you. Thank you if you were too lazy. God blast you. Have a nice day all~! =)P.S: Sorry the caption font is so small I couldn't make it any bigger. Pardon me.
.Saturday, August 04, 2007 ' 2:13 AM Y
Its late. I should be sleeping. But I just couldn't resist blogging before I go off to bed. Addiction is dangerous. Haha. I'm uttering rubbish due to lack of sleep. Please. Ignore me (I don't literally mean it lah dumb!). Anyway, here's a list of stuff that I've been wanting to do but kept procrastinating:1. Edit and post LONG overdue photos. 2. Change blog music. SUPER sick of that song now. Haha. 3. Change the picture of myself. There, at the sidebar. Don't ask me why I suddenly came up with that list. I just did. Doesn't mean I may really do anything about it. Doesn't mean I may not. Keke. Okay lah. I still gotta wake up in about 6 hours to head for work. Update again soon. Look out for my next entry. Super sentimental one. Not blogging that now because I don't have the mood, time or energy. Good night to me! Oh! Let me go rate my day first. Haha. I forgot to do that yesterday!P.S. Keep coming to my blog people! My hit counter is finally hitting a pathetic 1000. Keep it going. Please? =P
.Thursday, August 02, 2007 ' 5:45 PM Y
My retest is starting in less than 2 hours. OH MY GOD. I know, I know, its an open-book test. But I'm just that dumb enough to screw up an open-book test. That is how much I suck at anything related to Maths.
Anyway, yea I finally went to the polyclinic yesterday. Got medicine for itchy skin, some cream to apply, and some logenzes for my cough. BUT NO REAL COUGH/FLU MEDICINE. Stupid huh? And the worse thing is, I didn't question the doctor. Haha. Call me stupid, call me blur. Whatever. I did a blood test too. For some hormonal thing. I am NOT turning into a guy lah, idiot. Have to go back to the polyclinic in a few days time to do a review of the test. I'm DYING! Lol. Anyway, I'll update again later when I get back from my retest. Please. Wish me luck!
A few hours later...
Back from my retest. I PASSED. 65/100. Number of careless mistakes: 1 --> cost me 5 marks. Argh. Anyways, that's pretty much all for today's events. Morning lecture was SHIT lah. The whole lecture lasted only about 20 minutes. Complete waste of our time. And because me and Regina were late, we only sat down for like, 10 minutes before the lecturer told us "You can go. Lecture end liao." And the rest who came AFTER that went like "Yea yea, don't lie lah" when we told them the lecture had ended. Stupid huh? Haha. We ended up with 7 long hours to kill (6 hours for me, since I had the restest at 3) because we're attending this Free Laughs 2 thingy at LT 51. And it is also where I'm blogging at right now. Haha. Because the movie which was supposed to start at 5 hasn't started. 40 minutes late! *OH! Movie started!* OFF THE LIGHTS LAH DUMB! Yay! Finally the start already!
Here's a short little advertorial before I log off to enjoy my movie. Guys, go check out http://iratemyday.com/. Its a website where you can rate your day in terms of Great, Good, Average, so on and so forth. And they actually chart a monthly graph for you, so you can see your emotions going up and down as you rate the days that go by according to your feelings. I can't describe it very well, but I highly recommend you guys to check it out and give it a try. It's FUN! Got the URL from Roslyn. Haha. You can click on the link to iratemyday from the sidebar of my blog as well. Yea, that cute little picture under the section special links. Go try okay?! =)
. ' 12:40 AM Y
10 Signs which show that you have truly grown up:1) You find yourself at the "Self-help" section of the bookstore instead of your usual haunt at the "Fiction" aisles. 2) You stop and consider your actions, instead of plunging headlong into decisions without thinking of the consequences. 3) You finally know how to differentiate between a silly crush and true love.4) You realise when to hold on and when to let go5) You pick yourself up with a huge smile after a huge fall, instead of moping around and feeling depressed6) You learn to make your own decisions and stand firm, instead of following the crowd blindly.7) You thirst for knowledge, especially the kind that cannot be found in books.8) You start planning for your future, and you make sure you get there. 9) Your urge to be independent of your parents become stronger. 10) You finally learn to manage your finances successfully.Haha. Came up with that list on my own. And nope, it definitely does not mean that these 10 sign describe me. I definitely have alot more growing up to do. But maybe, just maybe, I'm already halfway there. What about you?