.Sunday, March 26, 2006 ' 1:42 AM Y
I don't even know why I'm bothering to post this. Haha. For the second time in two nights, I turned to you when I really needed someone and for the second time, my hopes were smashed. I guess I'm the one being crazy here. I suppose I'm asking too much, expecting too much. But why tell me I can turn to you and then push me away when I do exactly that? What makes it even more painful is that you hurt me without even knowing it. Am I just that unimportant to you that you can brush me aside without even thinking about how I feel? I really thought I could rely on you to be there for me. I really tried to tell myself that I could put my faith in you. But can I still do that? Maybe its just my fault. For loving you too deep. So much that I end up hurting myself. But I don't know what to do to stop myself. Even now when my heart's aching like this, I still can't help liking you. I still can't stop myself from loving you. I've really tried to stop myself from expecting anything at all from you. But even between friends, there are certain expectations right? I know by posting this I risk losing you totally but I don't want to keep it inside anymore. But then again, its not as if you will be reading it. And I guess I'm sorry for acting like this.
