.Monday, May 14, 2007 ' 1:12 PM Y
Its become a habit for me to blog during lessons. First thing I do after I sit down in class is to on the laptop and start blogging away. I don't know why suddenly I'm so obsessed with blogging, but I like that I can express myself in words without having to literally write them down. Haha. In short, I'm just too lazy to write lah. LOL. Anyway, yea. I've read QR's blog. Hee. Funny right? Read each other's blog, then reply on our own blogs instead of talking to each other. Haha. I guess what she has said is partly true. That yes we've drifted so far from each other that it almost like 2 complete strangers looking at each other and saying "Have I seen you somewhere before?" And that's all that remains between us. I don't know how to explain all this. Maybe its really as she says, that we've chosen different paths so we grow further apart. But doesn't that just contrast the shallowness of our friendship? I don't know lah. I can express myself in writing, but not in speech. So yea, you could call me a coward. Because I hide behind words. Because by doing that I don't have to be there and face the other party's reactions. For her: I don't know what to say to you either. I admit that I find some of the things you do not to my liking. But I do my best to ignore. Its not that I don't care anymore. I don't know how to explain. But just to put it simply, if I no longer took you as a friend, I don't think I'd be bothered to drop by your blog everyday. Even if there are no updates. Even though I don't tag. We're both having fun in school with our own group of friends. Maybe its precisely because of this that we've forgotten each other. I don't like seeing you so wild, because it makes me feel like I don't know you anymore. Haha. It feels so foolish. There're so many differences between us yet we're still trying desperately to find back our memories. For me, its that way. I know very well that its almost totally impossible for things to go back to how it was, but does that mean its the end? I once told BC that now we're on different islands. I'm alone on one, and you guys on another. You're still in the same school. You guys can meet up more often. I remember once when QR said on Maple that NP sucks. Haha. Don't ask me why I had the sudden urge to defend the school that I hadn't even started attending then, I just did. I was stung by the insensitivity of that sentence lah. I chose TP as my first choice for two reasons. One, it was nearer to my house. Two, all the people I had ever known as my best friends were there. I didn't want to have to start totally anew. But fate chose NP for me. So don't rub it in. But then I didn't bother arguing my case, because I would sound like a whining kid. Why am I saying all that now? I don't know either. Maybe there's just that old part of me still trying to convince myself that one day, things might just get better. MAYBE. Just MAYBE. Haha. I'm so pathetic aint I?
