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.Thursday, May 03, 2007 ' 3:45 PM Y
I've just completed an activity that left me hot, breathless and smiling away crazily. I'm still trembling, and I hope my performance wasn't all that bad. Okay lah. Don't think dirty. I've just finished my first ever class presentation here in NP. I was so nervous that I could practically feel myself trembling. Haha. And I totally have no recollection of the stuff I said. I mean, I still have the notes and all, but I can't remember how I presented my points. Well. Its all over. Haha. But I'm still suffering the side effects of over-nervousness. For a moment I almost felt like crying. So siao of me right? I'm not emo lah. I just tend to be so so so very nervous that I become too emotional. But that lasts only for a few seconds. Now that my presentation is over, I really feel alot alot better.

Today's the first time I'm wearing formal wear to school, or anywhere else for that matter. My friends say I look like a teacher. !!! I want to be an accountant! Haha. But I think I look really weird in formal wear. Like over-mature or something. And my shoes didn't exactly compliment my outfit. No choice lah. I'm poor. So I can't afford proper formal shoes. All I have are a pair of white sandals with a bit of heels which I also use for everyday wear. I'll get Nana to take a picture of me later and post it up next time. *Sighs*... Payday is next thursday. I need money!!! Lots and lots of it. But then again, who doesn't? Haha. No lah. I just need to buy a few formal outfits and shoes. Afterall, poly life is going to have its share of presentations and I've got to have a few different outfits on hand right? Right now I don't even have any proper shirts. The one I'm wearing now actually belongs to my sister. Isn't that pathetic? Haha. I now have the chance and excuse to go shopping. But the thing is, I don't have the cash. Lets hope this month's pay will be a little higher.

Dear is going to split the monthly instalment for the laptop with me. $35 each. But instead of passing me the cash, he's going to treat me to 3 movies every month. Haha. If don't have movie to watch then keep the money for next time. Or use it to buy other stuff. Heh heh. But seriously. I need a new wardrobe. I need alot alot alot of stuff. But I don't have the money. I'm stressed. Seriously stressed. I don't show it, but deep inside, I hate having to worry about my finances every month. I hate having too little money, even to the point where I can barely afford luxuries. I know all these can actually help me to become more independent in future. But I hate the burden of it. How come other people don't have to undergo that sort of suffering? And yet, ironically, I want to be independent. I want to tell the whole world that I don't have to take money from my parents. Man... that's what "conflict" really means. Okay lah. I think I'm really still suffering the side-effects of the presentation, such that I'm confusing even myself. Haha. Sorry readers! Okay. Sorry. There are no readers. Sad. But just for the sake of myself, I'm going to post a super cute picture below just to make your heart melt. Enjoy!

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