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.Tuesday, September 18, 2007 ' 1:14 AM Y
I've always been known to think way too much about mundane matters. And that's what I've been doing for the past few days. It started a few days ago when I overheard my sister talking to her friend on the phone. She was feeling pretty depressed and needed a listening ear. And her friend was there for her, at like, 2am in the morning. It got me wondering; if the same thing happened to me and I felt like talking to me, who would I be able to call?

Couldn't think of anyone.

I suppose I'd probably end up talking to myself or my imaginary friend again. Something I've been doing for the past 9 years. Sounds pretty crazy right? But its become a habit that I'm unable to kick. Everytime and anytime of the day, as long as I'm alone, I'll start talking to the air as though there's really someone beside me. Haha. I know I've mentioned this on my blog before, so pardon the "repeat".

I don't know how things got to this stage whereby I look at my list of friends and I find that the closeness we used to share is no longer there. I know I'm mostly to blame. Because I changed so much, that I unconciously started distancing myself from everyone. Because I became less tolerant of their faults that I couldn't help wondering why they just didn't seem to grow up. It sounds as though I'm sketching a beautiful illustration about myself; I guess in a way I did, to myself. No, I did not look down on or despise anyone; I just wondered how come I've been able to change so much in terms of my way of thinking whereas some of them still remain so childish and so stubborn. I know I'm not superior to anybody, but to me, some things are about common sense. About maturity and responsibility. Yea yea, I'm not perfect, but as least I can say that I'm not as naive as one year ago. I still daydream about the impossible; I still harbour romantic dreams, but at least when I know when to come back and face reality.

Last Saturday while waiting for Dear at the soccer court, QR and I started chatting mundane stuff. I told her that I have plans to stay in Taiwan for around half a year or so after graduating from NP, and she said I was crazy. Maybe I am. Haha. But really, its what I wanna do. Even if I can't go after poly, I will go after university. And if by then I happen to be single (touchwood!), I might even stay overseas for 1 year. All by myself. "For what?!" QR asked.

I don't know. I suppose I just want to experience something different. To meet new and different people who are, at the same time, so similar to us. To find out how adaptable I am to changes around me. And more. And I wanna do that all on my own.

Actually, its an idea that has been taking root since 1 or 2 years ago. But after I started working and studying at NP, the thought got pushed to the back of my mind until just a few days ago. NO lah. I'm not feeling depressed. Its just an urge to try something different. Maybe its also because I feel too bored and stifled in Singapore. That's why I wanna break free and go somewhere else. I chose Taiwan because its the most similar to Singapore, but also different at the same time. And also because there's lots of good food and shopping to do! Haha. Not advertising for Taiwan hor. Hong Kong also not bad. But I don't speak Cantonese and their English sound super funny. Keke. So for now Taiwan is my best choice. P.S: Europe is too expensive; China is too big. I don't speak Chinese with a twirling tongue. =D

Okay lah. Enough with all that crap talk. Actually got more to blog about, but my 绝代双娇 load finish already. So I'm off to watch it on Tudou again. Haha. By the way, Dear has agreed to go to the Singapore Hit Awards with me this year. FINALLY! Been wanting to go for YEARS! Anyone interested to go with us? (Spare the crap about lightbulbs and gooseberries. If you wanna go just COME lah!) In case you don't know, its going to be held on the 27th of October. At the Singapore Indoor Stadium I think. Do tag me if you're interested in going so we can go together okay? Nighties!



*MaKiNo AyAnO TsUkUsHi -
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