.Wednesday, July 02, 2008 ' 5:25 AM Y
Blogging is turning into a monthly affair nowadays. My sister's 21st birthday chalet just flew past, and I also managed to lose my voice over the last week. I gym-ed only 3 days out of the 15 I was able to go, which meant I didn't actually get my money's worth. Thanks to my sickness. Oh. And Spain won the Euro Cup after 44 long years. Cheers. Its back to the MapleStory craze, in a brand new private server done up by ZH's friend. The former, who is getting very much on my nerves. Don't ask why. I'm not going to turn this entry into a dedication. Along with all the major decisions I've made over the past few months, I've decided that I want to pay for my future education on my own. Starting from my diploma. Very fortunately, ACCA charges on a per-paper basis, which means that I don't have to fork out extensive sums of money at the moment. I'm more concerned about Dear. I can survive with a Bachelor's while he needs a Master's at the very least. I have still not given up on the hopes of taking vocal lessons, but that dream keeps getting pushed back. Money cannot buy happiness, but its is truly difficult not to worry over my finances. I'm considering applying for the JET programme, but the idea of staying overseas and away from Dear for up to 2 years makes me hesitate. JET, in case you're wondering, is an exchange programme between selected countries and Japan, where you can actually apply to be a teacher assistant or something of that sort in Japan. This requires you to speak the Japanese language, and reside there for at least a year. Most of the times, longer than that. Its tempting, because its something different, and so much more appealing than following the study-work-die tradition of modern Singapore society. Should I, or should I not? Then again, its 3 years away. I'm honestly hoping to change of blogging style-to blog about a certain topic or topics instead of blathering about my day which is so-*yawn*-boring. But I need ideas. The problem with having way too many interests is that its very difficult to pursue all of them, and this adds stress. The even bigger problem with having such a top-priority interest in something like singing is that its even more difficult to make it come true than striking 4D. Exaggerating, but you get my point. I need to relax, I need to stop my mind from thinking. People think I should be stress-free because I'm not studying now. I tuition only 3 kids and I have a lot of free time on hand. But I'd much rather be juggling work and study, so that at least my brain doesn't have that extra time and energy to think so much, and keep on generating all sorts of funny ideas. And yes, I officially need a shrink. I thought I was over my depression. Turns out everytime something goes wrong or some argument erupts between me and my family or with Dear, I start having downright pessimistic thoughts. I still envision myself plunging down 8 stories. THAT is truly scary. Not to mention crazy. I need to be more optimistic. Okay. My resolution for the rest of the year: BE MORE OPTIMISTIC. So people, make me smile and don't upset me okay? -*-I think I've finally stopped caring so much all that has happened. The 2 of them probably won't last much longer, which is completely expected. Some people ought to start believing in karma. Although I'm no saint either. No D.K. I don't really fancy a meet-up. It makes me uneasy every time you request it, because you see, I am attached, as subtle me keeps trying to remind you. I will not be going to the airport to receive any flights. Not hers, not his.
