.Thursday, October 09, 2008 ' 11:49 PM Y
Freaking busy day. All the kids have nowhere to go after exams is it? Why must everyone visit the arcade and the cinema??? And its the first time in my life that I've ever seen people queueing up to take neoprints. What is this world coming to? Apparently the global economic crisis isn't really hitting us that hard, since you get MANY kids who spend all sorts of unneccessary money on games and such. Oh well.
Tuesday's KBOX was really fun, although I'm still pretty pissed off with the staff for bad service and refusing to change to a bigger room for us. The room they gave us was so small that we were sitting just one or two metres away from the TV. Which is bad for our eyes okay. It wasn't as though there were that many people using their rooms so I really don't understand why they couldn't just give us a bigger one, especially since we requested it. The KBOX management really needs to look into their service standards or just take away that 10 percent for service charge.
Anyways, since Dear mentioned it today, I've started rereading all my entries over the past two years and I honestly cringed at myself when I read my very first few entries. Was that even me??!?!?! Okay lah. I can remember being that way, but really that bad huh? So "emo"... so depressed, as though the world was going to end. In a way, I was no better than the then Mr.Ego, whom I criticised so harshly on my blog. But I do not take back my words, simply because I don't see the need to.
But I think I can also see the gradual changes in myself as my character grew, especially in that few months when I totally stopped blogging. I honestly hope that I will never again become what I was in the past.
Looking back, there really was something badly wrong with my mental state, and I'm surprised I wasn't hauled in to IMH for medication or something. Dear once told me that any living thing's natural instinct is to survive, and the fact the I was contemplating death nearly every single moment at that time was a sign that I was mentally ill.
Hell, I was so holed up in my self-proclaimed misery and depression that I couldn't even listen to my instincts. I'm fucking glad that I'm no longer like that, and never will be, because that sentence is forever etched into my mind.
I don't what made him so bored that he had to go dig up my past, but I'm glad he did, because now I love myself (a little) more than I did just a few days before. Its a wonderful feeling. No more stupids posts ranting on and on about insignificant stuff because that chapter of my life has officially been closed.
One thing I miss though, was the starting of poly days when TA02 got along super well and Regina, Shawn and I used to hang out together everyday. But good things never last, especially not when people purposely create misunderstandings. Even the friendship between us 3 suffered the moment we got to different classes. In fact I don't think they even know who I am anymore, now that I'm no longer even in the same school as them. I haven't even been in contact with Celeste for quite some time now.
I understood from the day I chose to leave, what I was giving up from my life. I don't have any regrets, except that I can't use the wonderful library and gym at NP now. Haha. Miss lectures and tutorials, rushing from classes to classes and lunching at the different canteens. But I stand by my choice. Its just too bad that the few friendships I managed to establish there amounted to nothing in the end.
Enough of ramblings for a day. Bedtime for an early day tomorrow. By the way, for whoever is interested: My sister will be selling lots of shoes and accessories that you will NEVER be able to find elsewhere in Singapore, at E!Hub (downtown east) between 10-15 October. Feel free to head down and lighten your wallets. ^^
P.S Hurray~! I think I don't have to go to Shenzhen!
