.Saturday, November 07, 2009 ' 6:53 PM Y
How is it that I went from being a carefree kid whose biggest problem in life was dealing with O Levels, to an overgrown teen who keeps worrying about all sorts of stuff, without realising it myself?
Reading that new book by Allan and Barbara Pease has made me learn a lot of things that I never consciously realised. Knowledge that should have been there, but was somehow suppressed because I was simply too tensed and focused on the wrong things. $40 well spent, and I haven't even reached 1/4 of the book yet.
If the statistics in that book are true, then I supposed I'm doomed to contract some terminal disease when I hit my 40s. Haha. And I suddenly realised that I don't want to keep on worrying about so many things anymore. It won't mean that I don't care, but constantly keeping on my mind is just going to wreck my life. Funny how Dear has been trying to tell me this fact for so long, yet it had to take a $40 book to make it sink in. =P
My biggest problem right now is that I need to learn how to relax. Somewhere along the growing up process, it became conditioned into me that money is very important. Maybe it was because of those bills that kept piling up; maybe I was just suffocated by the high expectations placed on me by both my parents and myself.
Believe it or not, I don't think I'm a highly materialistic person. I mean, sure, everyone in this has that little bit of materialism in them, but I'm not the kind who would die without branded stuff. I don't need my boyfriend to shower me with gifts, and I'm not dreaming of living in some huge mansion or driving some posh car. YES, I'd definitely love to if I had the means, but right now I don't, and I'm not going to base the whole reason of my life because of some far-fetched dream. Financially, I'm comfortable with the kind of life I grew up in: with a roof over a head, money to go to school, getting new clothes every now and then, never experiencing things like electricity cut or having to go hungry. I'm content with that, and I'd be satisfied if I could provide my kids with such a life in future.
But I digress. The thing is, I'm wanting these things way too soon, and because of them, I'm putting lots of pressure on myself and subsequently, on Dear as well. So now the bottomline is, I need to learn how to stop stressing myself over such stuff. I can't predict the future, nor go back to the past, and I'll be damned if I can't allow myself to enjoy the present. Other than the occasional bouts of nagging, that is.
My family will be going to Bangkok in 5 days' time and I'll be having an entire week of peace and quiet to myself. I'm giving myself this one week to try and learn to relax; to take my mind off my forever thinning bank account or the fact that I'll be taking my exams next month. Oh, and I promise I will call KK for an appointment just to shut my parents up, even though I seriously don't think there's any need to waste the money. xD
I'm rereading what I've typed and I don't know if people reading this post will make any sense out of it but that's really not what I want to be concerned about. Haha. Good for you if you understand, too bad if you don't.
Off to watch Easy Fortune Happy Life. Nowadays I'm damn slow at catching up with these dramas, considering how in love I used to be with them. I'm still stuck at episode 15 of Black and White and that was last month. Suddenly 24 hours a days feel so short. Sad that humans and science evolved so much but time did not. Bleahs.
