.Saturday, June 05, 2010 ' 12:50 AM Y
Exams start immediately after this weekend. I'm nervous. So very very nervous. The kind of feeling is comparable to O levels, and it totally sucks. Because O levels end after 2 weeks of continuous exams whereas CAT & ACCA exams happen every 6 months. Shucks.
I suppose I really should be studying, but my head is so crammed with costing and performance measurements and all that shit that I'm really exhausted. Revision for today involved a lot of crazy mutterings to myself as I tried unsuccessfully to figure out why I had to divide by 10,000 units for a certain question. Hmph!!
Today while on the way to work, one of the mandarin radio stations was doing this segment that discussed customer service levels in Singapore as well as basic courtesy between people. They accepted call-ins and you got the usual complaints like fucked-up drivers, uneducated RUDE people and all the what-nots.
IMO? I think none of us have the right to call in and complain. I can rattle on and on for probably HOURS about all the ugliness and rudeness of fellow Singaporeans, be it on the road, at public places, or even on the Internet. But if you really wanna nitpick, what right do I have to do so?
I don't really approve of the aunties rushing for seats on buses and MRTs, but I sometimes still try to be the first to board, although I don't literally plaster myself to the doors in MRT stations, like some people do. I'm not beyond "chopping" seats at foodcourts or coffeeshops, although not that stupid as to use things like tissue paper.
I absolutely HATE people who walk and walk and suddenly stop. Liken it to a scenario on the road where a car on the highway suddenly hits the brakes. What do you get? Chain accidents, that's what. And that is exactly what happens when people just stop in the midst of walking, without any awareness to the people who may behind them. Bloody irritating, I tell you. But still, sometimes, not very often, really, I still do that. For what, I can't remember. But I have recollections of doing so.
To cut a really long and boring old grandmother story short, I'm not flawless and not without my faults too. I think this goes for each and every single individual person, not just Singaporeans or people from any specific nationality, but every single human being that exists on this Earth.
Instead of complaining about all those ugly things we see, making such huge efforts to call in to radio stations or newspapers or to the police to complain about so much shit, perhaps what we all need is a little bit of self-reflection. If everyone could use all the time we spend complaining and bitching about the irritating, annoying habits of others on self-reflecting about our own irritating and annoying habits, I think the world would be a wonderful place indeed.
But as we all know, saying is so so SO much easier than doing. And let's be honest. We all LOVE bitching sessions. Yes. Even the men. They try to act cool and give the "I-don't-care" attitude, but they're just as much a sucker for gossip as women are. They're just better at concealing it. No. Women are more honest with their true feelings. xD
Bitching sessions. There is just something extremely satisfying about ranting on and on about some person or persons whom we dislike or have some horrifying habit to nitpick on. Its like how chocolate and sex triggers all the happy glands in our system. Oops. Too much of Barbara & Allan Pease (recommend Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love. Lovely book to discover about the sexes).
I think I need to do quite a lot of self-reflection. And more than that, I need to do implement a lot of changes to my entire self. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm setting the period immediately after exams to start a brand new lifestyle, which is gonna include more self-motivation and discipline as well as to start learning how to build my confidence and stop being the emo "blame-it-all-on-me" kiddo.
Somehow, I've just got to learn to halt those tendencies to blame myself for everything. Its making my whole mental and emotional side unhealthily unbalanced.
Hopefully this time it just might work.
Wish me luck! =)
