.Wednesday, February 27, 2013 ' 1:05 AM Y
I really can't stand it anymore. When he goes out drinking, he has zero problem staying awake till the ungodly hours. But whenever he meets me, he is always sleep-deprived. Thanks for showing me how much I mean to him. I'm like his sleeping pill. As soon as he meets me he wants to sleep. I am so flattered. Not.
I really have no idea how much more I can take. What am I hanging on to? I really don't know. Every time I flare up and speak out, I am deemed to be unreasonable, petty and childish. So am I supposed to keep silent and just let myself be treated so unfairly? Without trying to seek the fairness that I deserve?
I don't know why he cannot see for himself how much he has changed, and I am sick of being the one to point out to him because he is too stubborn to listen. All he can see and hear is me throwing childish and pointless tantrums. There has to be a limit somewhere.
Do I still love him? I don't even know anymore. Because he is no longer the same person and I am having a very hard time accepting who he is now. How do I love such a person? I don't know. He doesn't ill treat me, but he doesn't understand how he is neglecting me and nothing I say can make him understand. What more can I do???!!
I suppose this is a test to me. To teach myself to let go a little bit more every single day, until the day comes where I can stop feeling so worked up and angry about his indifference. There will come a day when I totally don't feel a thing anymore, and that is when I will know that this relationship doesn't matter anymore.
