.Friday, March 08, 2013 ' 4:58 PM Y
I feel like I opened a can of worms by telling him the truth, that I cannot feel the love in my heart anymore. I got a huge shock when he told me that he had similar thoughts too. Never in my wildest imagination would I envision such a scenario. Have I been too confident in his love for me?
Its going to be a very trying period of us now, and this upcoming trip to Japan is going to hold so much more than just a simple holiday. It will be the time for us to try and salvage this relationship, and if we are unable to do that, to sit down and truly decide how to move on from here. I really hope with all that's left of me that it won't come to this, that we can still find back that love. And this time I really have to put down my pride and try to make it work. I am just afraid that at the end of the day I will end up being the one left heart-broken. Really afraid.
The only positive thing about all this is probably that we had the most honest and heart-to-heart conversation in a long time. No holds barred. Its true, that the truth really hurts. I know I hurt like hell. The tears that had dried up over the past few days came back again. But I can imagine it isn't any easier for him either.
I really hope that we can get through this hurdle and that if we do, it will strengthen our relationship. I honestly never want to go through such an obstacle again for the rest of my life. I truly cannot imagine my life without him in it, no matter what I said or thought when we were at loggerheads. Should I try to help him along during this period or just leave him to it?
Maybe I'm fickle, or just screwed up. But I know that as of right this moment, I still want this guy. I'm not ready to give up so many years of love, of shared memories and shared dreams. I will do my very best to give this relationship another shot. I can only hope he can give me the answer I want to hear.
