.Wednesday, April 17, 2013 ' 5:26 PM Y
Today I officially start a new chapter of my life.
I can't say I've moved on, because I really haven't, but I'm making my first baby step forward. I can't promise when I will finally be able to stand on my own but to everyone out there who has been here for me all this while, I really appreciate it a lot. Maybe I've irritated you with my tears and dramatics, maybe you're already tired and burdened by me. All I can offer is a sincere apology.
I still hurt a lot. I'm still in so much pain. The tears still come, and the mind still cannot forget. But I know I will pull through this, and I know one day I will finally emerge from this cocoon that I've enveloped myself in. I can't tell you when, but I can tell you that it will happen. All I ask is a little more patience, no matter how much I've worn you down.
I won't lie and say that I've let go of him. I still love him, and I think I always will. But deep down inside me, I know I've accepted the break-up. Because of this acceptance, I'm in even more pain. But I'm learning to walk through this pain, and long though this journey may be, I will drag myself forward. I still hope that one day we can be together again, but I will move forward.
I know I've been circling around this for weeks, that many times I keep telling myself to wake up and move forward, but many times I continued to fall. I probably will continue to keep falling, but I will continue to pick myself up.
I honestly don't think I can ever fall in love again. I can move on with my life, I can continue walking on this path, but I don't think I can handle another fall. The next time, I might really die.
Please friends, I need you the most now more than I've ever needed anything. I know I've been a huge and heavy burden to you these past weeks, I know I've been dragging everyone down with me, but please, don't desert me now. I'm sorry I have to continue burdening you like this, but bear with me, I won't always be like this.
I will rise from these ashes and become the most beautiful phoenix. I won't let you down.